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Cold Miser

Tragic day for the Cold Miser family.

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I apologize in advance for the long post.

Dear kind folks at American WX,

It saddens me to report to you that Cold Miser is dead. I found him when I got home from work this afternoon with his head wedged in our snow thrower. The only saving grace is that the police report says he died a quick death. While the report states that Mr. Miser’s death was a suicide, I have my doubts. Note the exhibits around him. He seemed to be enjoying a nice, warm wintery day, with hot dog in hand one minute, and then just like that his life was quickly snuffed out. Somehow his head became lodged into the running machine’s auger, with flesh and bone fragments ultimately finding their way into the impeller and out the chute 30 feet from the body. It didn’t take long for the dog to take advantage of this treat as I found him gnawing on one of Cold Miser’s ears. What was most curious about his demise is that the key was not in the ignition of the machine. In fact it was still locked inside the house when I arrived home from work.

A few things to note, over the past month or so I had observed Mr. Miser in the barn (where the snow thrower was kept) late at night talking to what seemed to be no one. It was almost as if he was apologizing or reasoning with someone/ something. The behavior was odd but I let it pass. What really bothered me was the one time when he told me that “White Out” (the name he gave to the snow thrower) was angry, and needed to be fed. At the time this didn’t seem to make much sense, and while I don’t normally believe in supernatural hocus pocus, I think there’s more than meets the eye – foul play so to speak.

While at times he seemed to be down about what he was calling the “never ending dreadful winter of 2011/ 2012”, up to this point, he was otherwise a happy guy.

. . . Of course there were a few times when he acted strange, mainly through mumblings to himself late at night. I would hear him say strange things like, “The reverend said it was going to snow, and promised all of SNE feet of it.” . . . and “What is with the QPF fetish?” (I initially took this to mean something kinky for night time but it was not the case). Other times he would just go on in his sleep and call out other names from this forum - someone named Typhoon Tip was mentioned more than once. He went on about how “long winded his posts were.” . . . and some Litchfield person, saying, “Damn him and his never ending Spring”. I suppose the most disturbing incident came the other night. I walked into the bathroom, and he was sitting on the toilet, clutching a winter storms book, rocking back and forth, and speaking quietly but quickly in what almost seemed another language. After hearing a few repetitions I determined that he was saying, “If Will throws in the towel, it’s over.”

As tough as it has been to recount this nightmare, I bring it to your attention in hopes that maybe one or some of you can help piece together the puzzle. I do not feel that this was a suicide, although some of his actions seem to dictate otherwise.

While I know that Cold Miser hardly knew squat about weather science, he enjoyed weather topics, and was a frequent contributor on this forum. Although I’m guessing many posts with zero substance.

I wasn’t sure where to post this, but it seemed like he frequented this sub-forum quite a bit so if you feel the need to move it to another location, please do.

In closing, I did obtain a couple photos taken at the crime scene this afternoon. There are others but they are fairly gruesome away (I do find it interesting how there is no evidence of any blood or skin/ bones on the chute) .

Thank you for your time, and take care.

Mrs. Miser.

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Holy crap, totally had me up until I scrolled down to the pictures. Funny afterward but at first I was totally shocked. Maybe his calender said April 1st instead of Feb 1st.

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Haha I think that's hilarious...obviously once you get to the head in snow thrower sentence.

Suicide isn't a light topic but we talk about it everyday in this forum...rope and chair, jumping off bridges, etc...this is a new one though, head in snow blower.

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After the second line said "head in a snow thrower" I was sure it was fake. Scrolled down and looked at the picture, that was pretty funny. Those who don't have a sort of sick sense of humor probably didn't find it funny.

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I nearly started crying when I started reading this. Then...I scrolled down...OMG! It is kinda serious talking about suicide, but this was classic once you see the photos and know how Garth is.

--Turtle

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I understand. Hell, even before last month I would have been busting out laughing, the pictures are pretty funny though.

Kind of hard to laugh when my little brother from another mother's prayer card from his wake is propped up on my computer desk in front of me.

Sorry about being a wet blanket :(

i know exactly how you feel. Sh it for a year I could not laugh at crash funny vids. Its raw and right in front of you. I have my step daughters card on my computer too. But time heals bro, we cry we laugh. when reading stuff that bothered me I found it better to not comment and remember what it was like before my life changed. I am sure no one is more sensitive to your type of situation than Garth but he too has learned to roll with life and have some fun. Its all good bro.

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