April Banter 2026

[Jebman]

This is likely the biggest western US trough ever experienced since records began! The same incredible Pacific trough that is bringing catastrophic snows to California ski resorts for the next three days, is the very same brobdingnagian trough that is bringing badly needed rains to the severely desertified regions of south central Texas tonight through Wednesday! There is a brobdingnagian blob of rain in W TX heading eastbound to Austin and will hammer most of central and eastern Texas.

[Jebman]

Okay correction. It has just been brought to my attention that 99.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 percent of the forcing in Texas will be 400 miles north of Buda.

We Always Get Missed.

Therefore I will see five minutes of drizzle. 

One thing I really CRAVE for, is a super El Nino with rain amounts about 99 decillion percent above normal for Fall and Winter 2026-2027. I want so damn much rain in south central Texas that the river that runs thru Austin ends up putting Buda under 150 feet of water.

You know, I am so fracking crazy about humanitarian-disaster-level rains, that I actually wish the Cabal was still in power and they set out to destroy Texas with Biblical rains. They had the power. Now, that will never happen. I'd have adored that! Being in the news about a Harvey-like tropical storm that somehow had so much moisture and swirled over Buda for 9 months with meters of rainwaters. I'd have been out on a monumental historic jebwalk checking out water levels!

I have always craved for a severe flood. I have been around for 62 years and I have NEVER been in a real flood. I am NOT thankful to g-d. The only thing that I will ever express gratitude for, is a devastating flood with many meters of water that I am in.

I want a 9 billion, 999 decillion milennial El Nino in Texas this autumn. We need 70 percent of the people out of here anyway. I want severe floods like in The Bible. Too damn BAD I missed that.

FUCK SNOW. I want Waterworld-like rain amounts.