I have returned. Called home to make my final warning in every corner of this place.
The weenies are astray with Panic or lunacy. Even in my temple I see their true despair.
Their path has become slippery, leading to the comfort of the abyss or delusion.
Soon Winter will be banished to darkness where they will all fall.
As it was last season, so it may be again.
Prepare your hearts and souls for a Great Reckoning if you do not turn from this.
Among the false prophets of the land I have seen something horrible:
Weenies torn asunder by the algorithms of the NAM.
Division among snow lovers cut by the deadly sharp fail lines of the GFS.
Maturation of actual hatred between weenies nurtured by the lies of the Euro.
These false prophets strengthen the grip of Panic and Delusion in this place.
Their effect is an abomination.
Do not listen to what the prophets are prophesying to you.
They fill you with passion and false hopes.
They plant visions from their own circuits and servers into your hearts,
leading you astray as you are blinded by snow maps and anomaly colors.
But take heart! Although Winter has seen fit to bring disaster on this region,
The Reaper of Souls is interceding for the lost, in an effort to bring the glory of snow
to your backyards.
Verily I say unto you all:
Guard your hearts against hatred of your brothers and sisters.
End mindless worship of the false prophets.
Analyze and examine Winter without passion.
Then, you shall know peace and see the redemption that comes with it.
May the Weenies of the Mid-Atlantic find the glory of snow this weekend.
Eskimo Joe (11/27/17 - 12/5/17)
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