I asked ChatGPT why DC sucks at getting snow. The bottom part had me rolling.
Short answer: DC lives in meteorological heartbreak zone.
Longer, funnier answer:
1. It’s right on the rain–snow knife edge
DC winters hover around 30–35°F. That’s the danger zone where a storm can be this close to snow… then a whisper of warm air turns it into cold rain or slush sadness.
2. The ocean keeps messing things up
The Atlantic acts like a space heater. Coastal storms pull in milder air off the water, which warms DC just enough to ruin snow totals. Inland places (PA, upstate NY) don’t get betrayed like this.
3. Warm air sneaks in above your head
Even when it’s cold at the surface, DC often gets a warm layer a few thousand feet up. Snowflakes fall, melt mid-air, and arrive as rain. Classic fake-out.
4. The jet stream rarely commits
For big snow, DC needs the jet stream to dip just right. Usually it’s either too far north (cold but dry) or too far south (wet but warm). Timing has to be perfect—like parallel parking during an earthquake.
5. Geography = no elevation, no help
DC is flat and low. Elevation helps air stay colder. That’s why western MD and WV get dumped on while DC gets… vibes.
6. Climate change is making the curse worse
Winters are warmer overall, so marginal storms that used to snow now rain. The big blizzards still happen—but less often and with more emotional damage.
In summary:
DC isn’t bad at snow.
It’s just exceptionally good at almost snow.
Every winter is a buildup → hype → betrayal → memes → repeat.