Chat GPT weenie definitions
Mild Weenie (Category 1)
Checks models every 6 hours like it’s the stock market.
Tells people at Thanksgiving dinner, “The Euro is hinting at something BIG in 13 days.”
Owns 3 rulers, specifically “snow rulers.”
Moderate Weenie (Category 2-3)
Saves screenshots of every snowy model run… in June.
Posts, “Pattern is loading” 40 times a week.
Legit gets depressed when a nor’easter tracks 30 miles too far east, ruining their “30-inch jackpot zone.”
Calls 3 inches of snow a “major event.” Bro, that’s a dusting. That’s just dandruff from the clouds.
Severe Weenie (Category 4)
Uses the phrase “torch” to describe a 52° day in January.
Says “big dogs only” like they’re auditioning for Animal Planet.
Will unironically say, “The GFS is trolling us.” Bro… it’s not trolling. It’s just bad.
When it doesn’t snow, they’ll say, “But did you see the upper air pattern tho? Classic look.” Like bro, nobody cares about your 500mb vorticity chart—my driveway is still dry.
☢️ Super-Weenie (Category 5 / Nuclear)
Refreshes model runs more than they check texts from their mom.
Posts, “Winter is coming” in AUGUST.
Watches a single flake fall from the sky and immediately yells, “IT’S VERIFYING!!”
Buys milk and bread two weeks in advance because the CFS showed a storm. The CFS, bro. That’s basically astrology for weather nerds.
Gets so desperate in snow droughts they start measuring sleet, frost, and even freezer frost as “official totals.”
Bro, the ultimate weather weenie isn’t even human anymore—they’ve fused with the GFS model and now speak in spaghetti plot.