You see this?! SE Area of Interest! Ten percent in two days, twenty percent in five! What is this, a weather forecast or a scratch-off ticket?! Ten percent?! That’s not a forecast, that’s a suggestion! You can’t get me worked up over something with worse odds than me getting a date on a Saturday night! And twenty percent in five days?! What am I supposed to do with that information? Stock up on bottled water, but only drink a fifth of it? Keep one galosh by the door, just in case? These meteorologists….. they put out these ‘Areas of Interest’ so we’ll all go, ‘Oooh, something’s coming!’ Meanwhile it’s a little puff of cloud in the middle of nowhere. I’m getting anxiety over a moist spot on the radar! And you know what’s gonna happen? Day six—poof! Gone! Back to tracking tropical waves in Chad! CHAD! The only waves in Chad should be in a swimming pool!”