URGENT WEATHER STATEMENTNATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE – WINTER DISAPPOINTMENT DESKISSUED: Immediately, because hope is fragileSUMMARY:A significant winter storm is expected to impact the region. Forecast confidence remains high for heavy snow potential, followed by a dangerous transition to sleet, freezing rain, or the ultimate betrayal: plain rain.⸻HAZARDS:• Initial excitement from model runs showing 18–30 inches• Rapid emotional destabilization as warm nose appears• Keyboard smashing, doom posting, and refresh-induced psychosis• Statements such as “this storm is dead” at T-72 hours⸻SUICIDE WATCH (METEOROLOGICAL): IN EFFECTA Snowlover Emotional Crisis Watch is in effect for the duration of the event.Residents are advised:• Do not do anything rash based on one model run• Step away from social media during the sleet phase• Remember: one band can still save the storm• Refrain from declaring winter “over” before March⸻TIMING:• Snow: Hope Phase• Sleet/Freezing Rain: Anger Phase• Rain: Acceptance (or complete meltdown)• Post-storm: “Next system looks promising” Phase⸻PRECAUTIONARY/PREPAREDNESS ACTIONS:• Touch grass (or snow, if available)• Hydrate• Do not fight family members over 850 mb temps• Seek professional help if you start trusting the GFS blindly⸻FORECAST CONFIDENCE:Low on precipitation typeHigh on emotional damage