SEVERE WEATHER ALERT: Residents are being advised to prepare for accumulating snow on Friday night into Saturday morning. Snowfall is expected to reach 5-8 inches and should taper off by midday on Saturday. This snowstorm brings the threat of inconvenience for up to twelve hours. Residents should prepare by stocking up on essential staples to last as long as 0.5 days. It may be difficult to order a pizza due to demand and road conditions, and residents should prepare for at least two meals at home. This storm also presents the threat of cabin fever and dealing with family members getting under your skin. Older males may feel compelled to walk over to the window every half hour and mention the blizzard of ‘77. Residents should also consider rushing to the hardware store for a new snow shovel, even though your old one is either just fine or buried under the crap in your garage, despite the fact that most of you never shovel your driveways anyway. Pets will not want to use the bathroom outdoors and those who are housebreaking puppies adopted for Christmas will regret that decision. Children will be excited to bundle up and play in the snow for about five minutes and their wet clothes and shoes will remain to dry in the same place until the next snowstorm. Those who live in subdivisions will have the opportunity on Saturday morning to complain about the timeliness of plowing and argue about which streets should be cleaned first before the snow melts in the afternoon. The inclement weather will provide an excuse to cancel plans you really wish you hadn’t committed to. Lazy and/or nervous coworkers will pace about and attempt to leave early on Friday. Please stay tuned to Local news to monitor and find further updates. .