Been posted before but still funny...
Moved to a new home in Pennsylvania . It's so beautiful here.
The lake to the north looks so majestic. I can hardly
wait to see it snow covered. I'm going to love it here.
Pennsylvania is definitely the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have turned all the colors and
shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the park and saw
some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most
wonderful animals on earth. This must be paradise, I LOVE IT HERE.
Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous animal, hope it will
snow soon. I love it here. Those red and orange leaves have covered
my yard. Looks like a magnificent multi-colored carpet. HOW BEAUTIFUL.
Raking and cleaning up the yard will be an opportunity for invigorating
exercise in the cool crisp air.
November 15 -
Ah, more leaves and more exercise.
November 18 -
Jesus, still more leaves. Guess it's best to
wait until they've all fallen before I rake again.
November 25 -
Finally, all of the trees lost their leaves
and today's final raking it's over for this season. Chiropractor
suggested I use a lawn maintenance service next year. Only four blisters
became infected. Should probably remember to use gloves.
November 30 -
What the f --k? Where did all of those leaves come from? A little wind last night and the lawn is covered
again. Oh well, they'll just have to wait until spring.
December 12 -
It snowed last night, FINALLY. Woke up to find
everything blanketed in white. It looks like a postcard. We
went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the
driveway. Had a snowball fight (I won) and when the snowplow came
by and we had to shovel the end of the driveway again. What a beautiful
place. I Love Pennsylvania
December 14 -
More snow last night, I love it. The snowplow
did his trick to the driveway again.
I Love it here.
December 19 -
More snow again last night. Can't get out of the
driveway to get to work. I'm
exhausted from shoveling. F---ing snowplow.
December 22 -
More of that white sh-t fell again last night. A s if dealing with the leaves weren't bad enough, now
I've got blisters all over my hands from shoveling, must remember to wear
gloves. I think the snowplow hides around the corner and waits until I'm finished
shoveling the driveway. The a--hole.
December 25 -
Merry Christmas. More frigging snow. If I ever get
my hands on that son-of-a-bitch who drives the snowplow. I swear
I'll kill the bastard. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the
roads to melt the f---ing ice.
December 27 -
More white sh-t last night. Have been inside for
three days except for shoveling out the driveway after that plow goes
through every time. F---ing gloves got wet and then froze
on my hands. Doctor said it was just a mild case of
frostbite, disfiguration is probably only temporary. Can't go anywhere,
car is stuck in a mountain of white sh-t. The weatherman says to expect
another 10 inches of the sh-t tonight. Do you know how many shovels full
of snow 10 inches is?
December 28 -
The f---ing weatherman was wrong. We got 34 inches of that white sh-t. A t this rate it won't melt 'till summer. The
plow got stuck up the road and the bastard came to the door
and asked to borrow a shovel. After I told him I'd already broken
six of them shoveling all the sh-t he pushed into the driveway, I
broke my last one on his f---ing head.
January 4 -
Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on the way back I hit a damned deer that
ran in front of my car. Did about $3000 damage f---ing beast should
be killed. Wish the hunters had killed them all last November.
May 3 -
Took the car to the garage in town. The thing is rusting out from all the f---ing salt they put all
over the roads.
May 10 -
Moved to The Villages in Florida . I can't imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever live in that
God-forsaken state of Pennsylvania